My Own Road
I am one among the many women who have had a tragic/sad/scary pregnancy.
When I was processing our diagnosis and going through the worst of it ---
I looked for stories from other women who had been through something similar. And shockingly, the abundance of the internet fell short. I was able to find a few stories, but precious little that reflected my own experience.
And so I started to talking to women. The women in my world.
I asked my mom about her birth history which included a miscarriage before me.. so I am the rainbow baby of her world. I recalled and grieved anew the pregnancies and losses of the women within my family. I spoke to friends and co-workers who shared stories about their worst moments so that I would not be alone during mine. I felt their solidarity. Their support.
From these stories I gained strength.
I felt seen and I felt validated within this shared experience.
It gave me a path forward. It gave me hope that I would and could heal.
And in telling my story -- I had to really acknowledge it, to say it out loud. Own it. Really feel it. Grieve. Heal.
This is the symbol of tRtM. A perfect baby foot. Of a baby who never came to be. I will always love you.
tRtM was borne from grief and brought to life during my healing process.
And for those of you wondering what my specific story is, know that it is within these pages. Anonymous, private, and protected like the rest of you.
still standing
nature heals
with my dudes
a little bit about me
In my time offline, I am - - - Jessica Zhang, MD
Mother.
My story also includes two little dudes.
Doctor.
I diagnose and treat many medical issues as an emergency department doctor. Some of which include miscarriages, molar pregnancies, or ectopic pregnancies. I have been lucky enough to deliver ~30 healthy babies.
To my colleagues in OB, you are amazing. Thank you for all that you do for women.
